Taza de amor

A good friend of mine, Tope recently finished medicine school with honors. He bested his classmates to become cum laude of his batch. Tope and I both bear the common Filipino surname. And now it’s clear, we just don't have the same surnames, we have the same intelligence too. Just kidding. :-)

Last Palm Sunday, Tope texted me. He asked if we could talk. I said yes. Normally this person does not initiate a talk unless he has something important to vent out or discuss with. He has a problem with a girl in school. So we talked while we walked at the banks of the marikina river. From the many things he shared: the cum laude honour, the girl he befriends, the upcoming internship, he said he feels there is something missing, “parang may kulang pa...” ("something is amiss") he confessed.  Since I know the issues and history of my friend, I asked him “do you want to hear my thoughts about it?” he said “ok”. Then I proceeded to discuss with him about the “love cup”. After hours of sharing, Tope concluded, “So you're trying to say that love is the answer.” I said “Exactly!” And then I quipped: “Let me ask you, if love is the answer, then what do you think is the question?” To which Tope gave me a what-on-earth-are-you-asking stare. (He never answered actually)

Before we parted ways, I reiterated to him the importance of the love cup.

What is the love cup anyway? In the midst of my “elocution piece” to Tope, I used a cup as a metaphor to represent the amount of love a person has within. I have long held the belief that each and every one of us has his own love cup. Being products of love, we have pre-filled cups when we were born. Then as we grew up, the pervasive emptying and refilling of our cups have also started. When we have great bonding moments with loved ones or when we are in a state of bliss etc, our love cups are filled... Likewise, our love cups are withdrawn of its contents when we get envious, when bitterness or revenge takes over us etc.

So what is the essence of this love cup? The love cup is a measure of how much love we can share. Remember, as Christians we are mandated to love. A drying love cup will not be able to sincerely love. Because the cup has not much contents to give. How can love flow out of a cup that is on the brink of drying up? What is there to share if there if the cup is bereft of load?

The point is one can not give what he does not possess. One has to experience first how it is to love himself before he can be able to love others.

Psychoanalyst Bernard Berkowitz wrote and I quote – “people who don’t love themselves can adore others, because adoration is making someone else big and ourselves small. They can desire others because desire comes out of a sense of inner completeness, which demands to be filled. But they cannot love others, because love is an affirmation of the living, growing being in all of us. If you do not have it, you cannot give it.”

Kudos to you Mr. Berkowitz! Excellently worded  I must say. :-)

But of course, the great liar devil will always pipe in and whisper a distorted thought: 

"Why bother to love when nobody loves you?" 

Or the devil may opt to character assassinate and say: 

"Can a porno addict like you be given a chance to find love?"
"So you think a loser like you who appears semi-orangutan will be loved?

Friends, be always on guard with these lies. These deceptive thoughts will never prosper in the presence of prayers. 

Now i ask, if love is the answer, then what is the question?

In my own words the question goes like this:  What was taught by Christ that we Christians must always be full of?

The answer? None other than  L O V E. 

For ourselves.

For others. 

And for God.

Be blessed. And be a blessing :-)